You know those times you want to do something, you’re excited, but you’re still nervous and you wonder, worry, and obsess if it will work out okay? You’re ner-cited.
This is in contrast to those times you’re simply excited. You know the feeling you get when you are about to do something you love, and is fun and low risk? It feels different.
For me it’s like butterflies, though instead of in my stomach these butterflies are in my chest. I am vibrating in my heart chakra, smiling, moving fast and often talking, humming, or singing to myself. This is what happens when I am getting ready to do something I love AND I feel confident.
That’s what being ner-cited feels like.
Now, I can’t take credit for creating this term. My friend, Jacqueline, gets that nod. She shared a post on Rosie’s Heart gallery, her new creative adventure, which was my first introduction. I think her image captures the two sides pretty darn well.
Think about the activities where you’re ner-cited.
There are many activities and events where I have that excited feel tinged with worry, fear and anxiety. I can try all I want to just focus on the excited side of the equation, but usually that just amplifies the neurotic, nervous worrying.
I generally need to acknowledge that both things are true - thus ner-cited!
For me, being ner-cited comes up when:
We are about to do a new talk in front of a new or larger audience.
I am about to kick off a new program like the first Find Your Mojo in Montana(LINK).
I’m getting ready for a new ski class.
We are about to deliver the pilot of a new corporate leadership development program for a client.
It’s coming up for me a bit this week, because shortly I will be stepping into Living Alive Phase 1, even though I am confident and have tremendous faith in the program and our team. I’ll be away from home, Rosie and ZuZu and most importantly this is a program CrisMarie does not join me in leading. As a result, I create a lot more NER-cited energy in getting ready to head off.
What helps?
For me I have been playing a bit of game with my ner-cited energy.
It starts by simply identifying which feeling is loudest: NER or CITED? I am guessing you can tell the difference.
I think of the energy running along a continuum.
For me the nervous side of the equation is much more thought-based, usually when I worry or obsess. Maybe I’m replaying something that didn’t go well in my head — running a negative storyline, or simply worrying ahead about flight times and travel. When that happens, I’m not generally aware of my body, sensations or even feelings.
The excited side is usually more body-based as described above – humming, buzzing, vibrating – generally I am much more aware of my overall body and emotions.
So that is the first piece, I simply notice and become aware of the two different energies. Then I start to rate the nervous energy and the excited energy on a scale of 0-10.
As I move through the anticipation phase and into the actual event, I pay attention. The act of noticing that I am, for example, an eight on nervous energy and a six on excited energy, and just calling it out without judgement, brings more awareness and curiosity into my day.
The first time I did a Mojo Intensive workshop here Montana with the horses – I was NER-cited. These days when someone is coming to Montana to experience a Mojo program I am more ner-CITED!
When we are about to deliver a new talk to a larger audience – well, I find myself NER-cited!
Recently when we were the closing keynote speakers for a Women’s Conference where all of the attendees purchased copies of our book. We shifted our usual talk to be more personal and relational to the themes of their conference. I was very NER-cited!
Since this event I have tried a very similar game around my ner-cited energy in various activities. Like skiing. Often, Jerry our ski instructor, would give us a head’s up about what we might be doing in our next class. He’d mention if the weather and conditions were good we’d ski some new runs – either with bumps or through trees.
As soon as I had this information my ner-cited energy would go into escalated motion. For the bumps I was more ner-CITED; for the trees – NER-cited. As I gained greater awareness of the differences and played with the energy more like a game, I found I could shift much quicker. It wasn’t effort.
So if you recognize that you have both nervous and excited energy that comes with your work, events, or may be even in certain relationships—don’t let that throw you off. Make it game.
Name your energy and acknowledge both parts. Notice your energy. How does nervous show up for you? How does being excited manifest itself? Track your energy without judgement and play the game. Rate the nervous and the excited energy as you go – real-time.
For me this makes life more interesting and engaging. I don’t have to ‘get better’ – I just want to gain awareness and have a choice.
What can you learn from your ner-cited self?
Let me know how it goes!
Susan
P.S. Want to play with your own Ner-Cited? Come join us for Find Your Mojo in Montana May 10-13, 2017.
CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are Master certified life coaches, business consultants, speakers and authors of The Beauty of Conflict. They believe real relationships are the key to creating great business results. They’ll take your team from mediocre to great.
Interested in coaching? Check out CrisMarie’s executive coaching and personal coaching, or Susan’s personal coaching and equus coaching.
Want to take a class? Sign up for one of their virtual classes: Get Unstuck, Relationship Mojo or come to their signature retreat Find Your Mojo in Montana. Click here to check out all their service offerings.
Click here to contact them to coach with you, consult with your team, or speak at your next event.
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