You work hard, don’t you? I bet you’re a high achieving woman. Most of my clients are.
You probably:
Do a lot and get sh*t! done
Are ambitious, driven and efficient
Strive to take good care of yourself
Exercise, eat organic, maybe even do yoga and/or meditation
What about pleasure?
Unfortunately, most of the women I coach put their pleasure at the bottom of their to-do list. It’s something to consider once all other items are taken care of.
Fun Fact: Did you know that women, not men, are biologically wired for pleasure?
Yep, women are born with an organ in the body whose sole (or you could say soul’s) purpose is to provide us with pleasure. Men, on the other hand, are born with a multi-purpose tool that gives them pleasure, and also doubles as an elimination organ.
It’s important to let that sink in – women are biologically made for pleasure.
In our male dominated culture, we women have been brainwashed into believing we should be more like men, operate as men, compete in the man’s world, subjugate our desires to be efficient and get work done. We criticize, judge, and blame ourselves just for being women and not meeting the male standard. UGH!
I sure was.
I was born a very emotionally expressive, highly sensitive girl. I learned pretty quickly I wasn’t going to work in my family. Girls, or anything feminine, was disrespected and dismissible. If I wanted to exist, I had to achieve and perform like a guy – then I’d get some respect.
To survive, I cut off from my feelings, pretended I wasn’t so sensitive, and worked hard on achieving. I wanted to be better than the boys. Achieve I did: the Olympics, Boeing Flight Test engineer, MBA and a high-powered job at Arthur Andersen.
Damn, if I didn’t have an awesome resume!
The only problem was I was miserable and empty inside. And I didn’t understand why.
Even though I was achieving, making money and getting praise, I was ignoring me — what I wanted, what felt good. To be honest, pleasure seemed irrelevant when compared to getting the job done.
Another Fun Fact: A woman’s pleasure organ has 8000 nerve endings, compared to a man’s 4000 nerve endings. Think of all those nerve endings!
Women ARE more sensitive, biologically.
My goal is to help you, come back to your birthright and recognize that pleasure is not a luxury experience once to put at the bottom of your to-do list. It’s a daily imperative!
If you allow yourself to experience pleasure, you’re going to be happier and all those around you will benefit.
Stop measuring, driving, or judging yourself from a masculine point of view.
You’re a woman. You can never out masculine a male. Instead, recognize that your greatest resource is, and always will be, your feminine essence. You’re playing the game without using all your resources. You’ll have a lot more fun if you start incorporating what’s innate to you.
Your feminine essence lives in your connection to your body and to your emotions. You’ll remember from my earlier post, Pleasure Project, your feminine essence lives in your lower body, legs and hips, versus your head, shoulders and arms.
How to Increase Your Magnetic Presence
If you want to increase your magnetic presence, start connecting to your pelvis, hips and legs. Rather than walking to your next meeting quickly with straight legs, head forward and swinging arms – slow down. Feel your feet, connect to and feel the movement of your hips. Notice how you feel when you arrive in the conference room. I’ll bet a few more eyes notice you when you arrive, even compliment you on what you’re wearing.
TRY IT! At the very least you’ll feel more juicy and alive!
The rhythm of the feminine is slower and connected to the senses.
Pleasure is about connecting to those senses: yummy smells, delicious tastes, the feeling of fascinating textures, melodic sounds, beholding beauty sights.
Start a Pleasure Experiment.
What can you do TODAY to introduce sensual experiences into your life?
What can you do on DAILY basis that will make your heart sing, your eyes dilate, your taste buds moan? If you’re struggling with what to do, try:
Taking a bath using lavender mineral salts
Lighting a few candles in the office or using a diffuser with essential oils
Wearing something silky that feels yummy against your skin
Soften the lights by using a lamp instead of florescent lighting
Giving yourself an evening foot massage with essential oils
The key is to make your pleasure a priority for you. Don’t expect it to happen from someone else. If you want to matter, you need to make yourself matter first.
Hugs,
CrisMarie
P.S. Want to connect to your feminine essence and integrate pleasure into your daily life? Then, why not coach with me - you and me, one-on-one! I’ll help you make your life into one where your pleasure matters most. Oh, doesn’t that sound yummy?
P.S.S. BTW, horses are great in helping you access your own true essence. Join us for Find Your Mojo in Montana. Yes, you can still get a ticket to Whitefish, MT! (FCA)
CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are Master certified life coaches, business consultants, speakers and authors of The Beauty of Conflict. They believe real relationships are the key to creating great business results. They’ll take your team from mediocre to great.
Interested in coaching? Check out CrisMarie’s executive coaching and personal coaching, or Susan’s personal coaching and equus coaching.
Want to take a class? Sign up for one of their virtual classes: Get Unstuck, Relationship Mojo or come to their signature retreat Find Your Mojo in Montana. Click here to check out all their service offerings.
Click here to contact them to coach with you, consult with your team, or speak at your next event.