I watched a standup comedian, Chelsea Peretti’s in her show, One of the Greats. She said how much she envies male confidence. She shared with us her fantasy of a guy waking up, “You wake up in the morning, you’re eyes open, you like, ‘I’m awesome! People probably want to hear what I have to say!’”
Too funny!
In contrast, women often wake up thinking something like:
“I’m just never going to be enough.”
“I hope I don’t piss anyone off today.”
“I just want to be someone else.”
“I’ll never be as good as she is.”
The women I coach start out by chronically criticizing, comparing and despairing themselves with others. Basically, women implode on themselves before they even begin.
What a lot of wasted time and energy!
Take my coaching client Michelle, who has been a successful financial planner for the last 17 years. MIchelle was struggling to take care of her two kids, doing all the housework and grocery shopping, while her husband traveled for work. When she started coaching with me, she was charging by the hour for her planning skills, giving a lot of her time away. She was overworked and knew she should be charging more, yet was too paralyzed to make a change. She didn’t want to upset anyone.
We chatted.
I said, “Michelle, listen, the men in your industry have changed the way they charge. I have a financial planner and he raised our rates. Plus, he doesn’t do half the stuff you do for your clients. It’s about time you get paid what you’re worth.”
She agreed but didn’t know how to break the news. She was afraid her clients would get mad at her and leave. We brainstormed ways for her to have those bold conversations.
Fast-forward six months.
Michelle introduced her new payment structure to her clients. Yes, some clients were upset. We worked out a plan to handle upset clients using some key listening skills and coming back to the reasoning behind the new payment structure.
In the process, one client did leave. Michelle also fired a “needy” client, who demanded lots of her time. She did it gracefully by referring them to another financial planner.
In the end, she wound up with fewer clients but was making more money. This gave her the confidence to grow her business. Now, she has increased her clientele by 20% and is doing mighty fine!
What are you putting up with?
What are you afraid to ask for?
Where are you settling?
It’s time you realize you are enough and can even ask for more.
What if you asked for what you really wanted?
What’s the worst that can happen?
Imagine, what’s the best that can happen?
You can do it!
Hugs,
CrisMarie
Your feminist confidence coach
P.S. Want some help taking that next step? Let’s get do some coaching to make you the best you can be!
CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke
Coaches, Business Consultants, Speakers and Authors of The Beauty of Conflict
CrisMarie and Susan work leaders and teams, couples in business, and professional women.
They help turnaround dysfunctional teams into high performing, cohesive teams who trust each other, deal with differences directly, and have clarity and alignment on their business strategy so they create great results.
Check out their website: www.thriveinc.com. Connect with CrisMarie and Susan on LinkedIn. Watch their TEDx Talk: Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It! Find your copy of The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team's Competitive Advantage here.