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Couples: Loving and Relating



We just returned from a Thrive! strategic marketing day. Our day was facilitated and a part of our new alliance with Stacey Harris. The day had been set aside to specifically focus on a 90 day plan. We picked Stacey Harris because she was, from our very first call, the marketing person who got the importance of both the business side/consulting part of thrive, as well as the personal side of Thrive - our work with couples and individuals. She saw Thrive as a whole – not the parts. So why am I sharing on our Life Tidbits blog a piece about our business strategy? You may be thinking I am writing for the other blog – the business side of the house. But no – there is a reason. The Overlap Between Business and Life Often people do not get the overlap of our work with leaders and teams and our work with individuals and couples. There are many layers to why this is very obvious to us. The most obvious is that we are a business, a couple, and two very unique individuals. There many ways in which our commitment to intimacy and vulnerability have been keys to our success in business and with business teams, as well as working with couples and individuals. There have also been important lessons we’ve learned from business that have helped us tremendously in our couple and personal lives. The Importance of Couple Strategic Time One of those lessons is the importance of taking time away from the bustle of day-to-day work to step back and focus on the foundational aspects of our life together. In business consulting this equates to strategic time – both regular time weekly and monthly, set aside to focus and dive deep into a current issue or strategic pillar of our lives such as:

  • Money

  • Health

  • Family

  • Community

This can involve more intensive blocks of time – quarterly or annually to step away for a few days to review, revitalize, and define our vision and commitments going forward as a couple and as individuals. Couples Alive: Foundation As a couple, this isn’t a two-day off-site. No, our design for this is baked into the Couples Alive Series we helped design and now regularly offer at The Haven. The Couples Alive: Foundations is a great program that can be done regularly or at any stage of a relationship. It’s a great way to step away from the day-to-day to-dos and roles of life and dive deeply into addressing how are we really doing.

  • Are we healthy?

  • What haven’t we really talked about?

  • What do we need to be clear and aligned around?

  • Where do we want to go next together?

The program offers great tools and a map for understanding the on-going dynamic nature of relating and how to be your best ME as a WE. Relating at All Stages of Life Together Over the years we’ve been leading this program, we’ve had people come who are just starting out, couples thinking the program is the last straw and couples just wanting to refresh and revitalize themselves and their couple. What we love about the format of this program is that there’s lots of time to focus as a couple and dive into your unique issues with coaching and support from the leader team. Plus, Couples Alive happens in a larger context of other couples each on their own unique relationship journey. Yes – there’s a map and there are tools and resources – but let’s face it: no relationship is just like another. Just like no one person is the same as another. The map helps navigate the territory – your territory. Though it is equally powerful to discover you and your significant other, though unique, usually are not alone! Sometimes that’s the real magic. Couples talking, sharing real and raw. Not trying to fix anything but just taking the journey together – even when it’s off-road and not that comfortable. Sometimes the magic is just taking that time to pull away from the gravity of the world and stories you have been locked into and realizing why you ever took this journey and deciding together where we want to go now. Care, Feeding, and Realigning There are many elements to being a resilient, thriving couple that are like a healthy, resilient business. Just like in a business, at the heart of a great team there is intimacy and vulnerability that needs care and feeding away from the day-to-day grind of getting results. The same is true for a couple relating needs care and feelings for the unique nature of each person AND an aligned clear vision and commitment going into the next stage, phase, or quarter of this journey of living. Just like I know our business is better when we invest the time and money in a strategic session (like the one we had with Stacey on our marketing for the next 90 days), I know that our relationship is better when we make time for leading and being real in a Couples Alive. Come join us for the next Couples Alive – it’s happening June 23 at The Haven. We’d love to help you take the time to refresh, revitalize yourself and your couple. Loving and relating, Susan


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