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  • Writer's picturethriveinc

Great Results

Higher Profitability! New Product Launched! Increased Sales! Championship Won! Great Customer Experience! Positive Brand Recognition! Fulfilling Relationships! A “Wow” Experience!

These are Great Results!

We all want them. We can’t make them happen alone. We need a team. However, even when we do have group of smart, passionate people focused on a common vision, we don’t always get the results we want. Why?

In our work with over 100 teams in the last 14 years, we have found the lack of great team results is because the team runs into what we call an “Oh Sh*t!” moment and doesn’t have the capacity to turn that into an “Aha!” moment.

An “Oh Sh*t!” moment can be failure, conflict or even success that overwhelms the team’s capacity to make more of it. We think “Oh Sh*t!” moments precede Great Results. Yep—Great Results come from hanging in there and making more of those “Oh Sh*t!” moments.

What stops a team turning an “Oh Sh*t!” moment into Great Results?:

  • Holding back: People don’t engage fully and instead are cautious, managing their behavior for effect, because they don’t believe it is okay to be real, or feel simply like an object rather than a whole person who matters.

  • Diffusing Tension: There are differences and conflicts between team members that are avoided, causing politics and silos, thereby compounding unproductive behaviors and dividing the whole team.

  • Spinning in Ambiguity: There is a lack of clarity and commitment around what the team is collectively working on, the priorities around what is most important right now, and/or who does what.

This is why teams struggle with mediocre results, politics and silos even when there are all the right people sitting around the table.

So how do you turn an “Oh Sh*t!” moment to an “Aha!” moment and get Great Results?


The Leader – It is the job of the leader to:

  • Lean In and show up as human, genuine, open and real. This lets the team members know that they can be, too. When people feel they can be who they really are, versus managing behaviors for effect, people relax and get engaged.

  • Set the Context and let the team know why is this important and why now. When team members know that what they are working on matters and that they can make an impact, their engagement goes on full throttle.

  • Mine for Conflict during those “Oh Sh*t!” moments, making sure people know it’s okay to get messy sometimes. You want these diverse opinions and approaches it drives creativity and innovation and great results.

  • Create the Clarity and Commitment around: Why we exist? What is our collective goal? What’s most important right now? How are we going succeed? Who’s doing what?

The Team Member – It’s the job of team members to:

  • Show Up and don’t hold back. Be real with what you are thinking and feeling and wanting.

  • Be Curious and check out your judgments, assumptions or stories.

  • Disagree and Commit, stay with the discussion long enough until you feel heard, but when you walk out of the room, your words and actions must support the collective decision, even if you initially disagreed.

There is something quite wonderful and inspiring when people come together around a vision, do the hard work to get clear and aligned around a common goal, and stay in for the journey from “Oh Sh*t!” to “Aha!” creating Great Results!


Yes, couples are quite like teams. They are drawn together, usually with some dream, vision or romantic idea about future possibilities.

Many of the same reasons apply for why one or both people in a couple aren’t getting the results they want:

  • Isolating: After being together for a while, you may have pulled away thinking this person is just not going to be really interested in or understand you.

  • Diffusing Tension: There may be differences that have been avoided because you fear that you just can’t get through them. So rather than being honest and direct, you accommodate or isolate.

  • Spinning in Ambiguity: Couples struggle as they go through different stages of life around kids, careers and retirement. You may be uncertain about why you are together anymore.

In a couple there isn’t a leader, each person has to be responsible for:

  • Lean in and be willing to show up and be human, genuine, open and real.

  • Be Curious and genuinely listen to your partner rather than just trying to solve or fix the problem.

  • Get Clear and talk honestly and directly about those “Oh Sh*t!” moments. Yep, it is critical to bring up the tough stuff and be willing to check out what was going on for the other person and share how you are impacted.

Great Results come when couples are willing to be real with each other, talking about those “Oh Sh*t!” moments and being genuinely curious and interested in the other person.

CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke

Coaches, Business Consultants, Speakers and Authors of The Beauty of Conflict

CrisMarie and Susan work leaders and teams, couples in business, and professional women.

They help turnaround dysfunctional teams into high performing, cohesive teams who trust each other, deal with differences directly, and have clarity and alignment on their business strategy so they create great results.

Check out their website: Connect with CrisMarie and Susan on LinkedIn. Watch their TEDx Talk: Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It! Find your copy of The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team's Competitive Advantage here.

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